I was concerned that many of my readers were suffering blog fatigue and weren’t keeping up, so I thought I would back off to a monthly post. I thought I would report perhaps monthly. But then my caring readers were relieved when I said I would continue the blog, I still have a life to live and stories yet to tell. Many of my readers, when they had read the last instalments of my blogs that they were in fact the last, were mildly alarmed at the news: I had said I would convert the two blogs to books: The Pilipiñas Packet ended because I had returned to Canada from Philippines, Travels with Myself ended because my journey from the abyss to recovery had largely been complete. And as soon as I can put those projects to bed, I am very keen to get to work on my next two projects: The Treasure of Stella Bay (including a few weeks conducting research in the Kingston area) and The Girl From Santa Rita (and for that I have to return to The Philippines to interview a lot of people and scour the meagre archives of Samar). I am working diligently to complete my current two projects: converting those blogs into books: Travels with Myself, and The Pilipiñas Packet (more on that in the next post). I have mourned the separation from Carmen even though we tell each other it’s only temporary, but for how long? I am lonely and feeling sorry for myself, living first the 14 days back in Canada in forced quarantine and then then just living alone in my too big for one person home. From this we will know our purpose, and find moments of happiness. And, as Martin Seligman advises, we become our best selves when we realize what our best talents are and find as many opportunities as we can to exploit them. Our best selves also embrace living a virtuous life, at least as virtuous as we frail human beings can manage. I will continue to seek excellence in my writing, but I hasten to add, Excellence, nor even writing, is not the whole part of being my best self. I will continue to find my purpose in being the best version of myself I can be. Plans get upset, but purpose does not change. I returned to Canada leaving Carmen behind in the Philippines, both of us facing an uncertain future.Īs John Lennon famously said, life is what happens when you are planning to do other things. But love in the time of Covid put a new wrench in my life’s journey. I did overcome my dark days, with much of the credit going to the inestimable Carmen Espino, and returned to life a new version of myself, perhaps a better version.

I had life left in me, new things to learn, and stories to tell. But deep down I knew that plaque was right. I had my doubts as I struggled through a long period of depression and hopelessness. Concerned friends, believing I had more life in me yet, and aware I was fond of words and exploring a new identity – author – gave me a barnboard plaque with these words burned into the surface:

After my life partner of fifty years had died of metastasized breast cancer, still young at 69, I naturally fell into a period of grief and transition.

My story isn t over yet